Defining Paranoia

Numb

She laid her head back and closed her eyes. She waited until she felt the eternal calm fall upon her. She breathed in whatever she could of the air left around her. Her favorite song played in the background. Water was dripping from her ceiling and landing on her head. The drops were cold and made her flinch with every hit.

She turned her body around and fell on her back. She placed her arms at her sides and waited. The droplets fell exactly in the middle of her stomach forming a puddle of ambiguity. The words of the singer filled her ears, engulfed her soul. There were no tears. There were never tears.

There was a burning sensation in her stomach. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. The pain in her head grew more intensely as the clock ticked away. She wanted to cry, but the tears refused to be free.

Her whole life started to flash in front of her.
A smile, a laugh, a warm embrace.
The warmth of another’s body, soul.
A word, a song, a life.
A promise.
A look, a frown, a mistake.
Anger, frustration, depression.
Deception.

She felt light-headed. The pain ceased and the burning halted. She released and lost herself in the new feeling of weightlessness.

She lost feeling in her toes. She smiled.
She lost the sense of living. She laughed.
Her feet started to become numb.
She couldn’t move her arms.
Her neck failed her.
Her eyelids became too heavy to lift.
A smile, a laugh, a warm embrace.
There was an image in her head. It was crystal clear for the first time in her life. She could see life for what it really was.
A look, a frown, a mistake.
Her heart rate slowed down.
It stopped.

A bottle of the doctor’s best prescribed pills lay next to her.
A letter of words spoken too much lay beside her …
Without you, life is meaningless.
In her heart, a name was engraved. You.

Parting is such sweet sorrow …

posted by 5ada @ 11:05 PM