Defining Paranoia

Theory of Love

She stood aloof staring straight into infinity. Her hands were freezing as was the tip of her nose. The wind blew at her scarf, but she made no attempt to put it back in place. It was a miracle she still had the energy to breathe. Her mind was wandering in a different realm, an alternative world where happiness wasn’t an abstract concept and sorrow ceased to exist.

At the back of her head, a film was playing. There were no images, no moving pictures. There were only emotions, unspoken and invisible feelings. That was her alternative reality; a world where her heart smiled and her soul was alive. In the solitary state she was in, away from that realm, her heart hardly produced any vital signs. It beat, but it was void of any emotion. In the reality she created in her head, her heart experienced all emotions.

The clock struck the hour. The world began to live while she stood detached from reality. A rush of life passed by her and she could almost feel her heart beat. Her chest produced a slight movement indicating the intake of a breath, a clue that she was not dead.

A smile was beginning to form in her mind. An image of warmth and love was overwhelming the screen of her film. Words of passion were engulfing her sense of hearing. The feeling became so overpowering, so intense, that her eyes flickered until finally, they shot open.

The world stopped at that instant. Life appeared like a still painting to her. She did not look at the whole picture, but instead, she noticed the details. She grasped the fine lines that accentuate the larger image. She devoured the delicate textures of the painting, one by one, and her heart livened more.

She felt warmth in her heart as a brush of life touched her hand. She was able to sense and feel as if she were back in the real world again. The brush of life lingered around here and she tried to focus on it. She wanted to grasp that as well, but she could only grasp small things, details and fine textures, she faced difficulties decoding large images.

The brush of life became more intense. The feeling was overpowering her. She felt passion, strength, love. Whatever it was, it provided her lungs with life, her brain, her heart, her ears, her tongue, her nose, her skin, and finally, her eyes. She could focus. She could see as well as feel. The brush of life was no longer a brush, it was real, it was solid, it was divine.

She breathed it in, filled her body with this new feeling of absolute euphoria. Not only did her lips curl up forming a smile, not only did her heart beat to a symphony of laughter, but her soul was alive again. She was alive again. She could live, and not only her alternate reality, the one she created for herself in the back of her head. There was no void in her heart. There was no emptiness in her soul. She was complete. She was accomplished. She was obsolete … but she loved it.

posted by 5ada @ 5:24 PM