Defining Paranoia

(This is why I'm passionate again)

“Do you have a lighter?”

She pulled out a cigarette from a packet in her purse and placed it between her lips. He sat next to her drinking a bottle of Mountain Dew and staring off into space. He set the bottle on the table, reached into his pocket and pulled out a box of matches.

“I stole these from the restaurant we were at last night.”

She grinned at him. He held her gaze for a while, devouring it and breathing it in, then he diverted his eyes as she lit her cigarette and blew a cloud of smoke in the air above them.

“I never knew why I liked coming to this place with you.”

He was still staring into the empty void of nothingness when she started to speak again. He could see from the way the smoke dispersed in the air that she was looking the other way herself.

“It makes me feel. Yes, that’s it. It makes me feel.”

He turned towards her. She sat leaning over her crossed legs and resting her elbow on her knee, the cigarette dangling between her fingers and burning away. She never smoked a whole cigarette.

“This place is magical. It envelopes all of my senses. I can see everything when I’m here, hear everything, taste and smell and touch everything. Feel everything … I don’t feel that way anywhere else.”

She threw the cigarette into a puddle of water and sat straight up. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent around her.

“This place makes me feel cold and warm at the same time. It makes me feel like its neither day nor night, that time is infinite and I can stay here forever and I’ll be happy and peaceful and serene … without a worry in the world.”

She turned to face him. There was a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. It sent a warm feeling down his stomach to see her so passionate this way and he smiled back at her. The smile he gave her made her cheeks turn pink and she looked away.

“I like this place. What do you say we stay a little longer?”

He moved in next to her on the bench and put an arm around her shoulders. Upon contact with him, her whole body shivered. She slowly lay her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

“It makes me feel beautiful. Let’s not leave.”

He planted a small kiss on her forehead and then held her in his arms for the remainder of their small meeting. She did not speak nor did he. His hand slowly traced her arms, and with every inch he covered, her body would shudder, and when he held her hand when he reached it, her face burned up and he could feel it.

“It makes you wonder … why don’t they make more places like these in the world? Why can’t they exist at all times for us? Then everyone can live in love and harmony and peace … and we wouldn’t have to worry about war and hate anymore.”

She freed her hand from his and used it to remov his arm from around her shoulders. She sat facing him now with a stern look on her face. He was getting concerned at this point. Whenever she gave him that face, an unpredictable question would follow. She didn’t say anything though, she only stared deep into his eyes as if searching for the answer to a question she dared not utter. Then without any warnings, she turned her head from him and looked away. He was about to hold her again when she started to speak.

“I’m going to say that this is my escape. This here, this spot, this is my sanctuary. This is my haven, my secret place, my home.”

He smiled gently at her.

“You do know we’re sitting on a bench randomly placed in an abandoned parking lot, right?”

She laughed and turned to look at him.

“Of course I know silly! That wasn’t the place I was talking about.”

She kicked off her heels and crawled in to sit in his lap. She put her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist and pulled her closer. She was so close he could almost feel her heart throbbing in her chest.

“You’re beautiful.”

If it weren’t for the support of his arms, she would have fallen right on top of him. He loved the power he had over her.

“Why did you have to go and ruin my moment?”

He brought her even closer and gently kissed her lips.

“I’m sorry, what were you going to say?”

“I was saying …” She started, her voice shaking a little, “This dump was not what I meant by my special place.”

“You’re holding your breath.”

“Shut up. I’m trying to focus here.”

She never talked this much before. Not with this much passion at least. Whenever they were together, it was him who was passionate, not she. All she did was smoke, listen to him, and blush every now and then whenever he touched her. He stared into her eyes, reassuring her that she can confide in him.

“The place I was talking about was a metaphor you idiot; a metaphor for any place where you are by my side.”

Her words made his heart skip a beat, his arms fall from her waist, and for his eyes to widen as he stared deep into her eyes. Finally, his cheeks turned red. Her smile widened.

“You are so cute.”

Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her waist again and pulled her in. She tried to say something, but he told her to shut up, then he kissed her with as much passion as he could muster. It was no surprise that they lived as happily as anyone could live happily for the remainder of their lives together in harmony, love, and passion.

posted by 5ada @ 2:33 PM